The All Time Lows

Today's post at newballpark.blogspot.com post recaps A's owner Lew Wolff's comments to the San Jose Chamber of Commerce yesterday regarding the future of baseball in San Jose. The main point is that Wolff said the A's will never move to San Jose because of the Giants territorial rights to Santa Clara County. And the rumbles of Fremont continue.

The highlight of my day so far, other than the A's crushing (and sweeping) the Red Sox, getting an approval letter for a grant I applied to at work, and getting shit on by a pigeon again, was when I was walking back to work from lunch and got to drop the "C-bomb" on somebody that totally deserved it. After finishing a sandwich at The Sandwich Place on Mission Street, I walked up 16th Street toward Valencia. After crossing Julian Alley I noticed a short, fat, probably semi-homeless woman walking toward me pulling one of those carry-on suitcases on wheels behind her. She was to my left, and, as she's about three feet away from me, she turned her torso and bent down to the right. She gripped the handle of the suitcase tightly and I thought, "Wait, is she gonna try to hit me with this suitcase?"
Sure enough, she swung the suitcase at me with all of her might. Luckily, using my catlike reflexes to knock it away with my left hand, I avoided getting hit. She looked at me with a deranged smile as I screamed, "What are you doing you fucking nut?!" I noticed a metal object in her left hand as I continued to berate her, "Stupid fucking cunt!" Ahh, the joys of San Francisco.

In related news, this guy is really letting me down in keeping up his documentation of my hood.

CNN is reporting that the driver in custody for running down pedestrians in his SUV is Omeed A. Popal.

According to channel 5, KPIX, police have apprehended a suspect who was mowing people down on the sidewalks of San Francisco today with his SUV. According to the report he hit at least 11 pedestrians, killing two one (man in Fremont), throughout Pacific Heights, Laurel Heights and The Fillmore.

John Mark Karr's DNA didn't match the samples taken at the scene of the crime. So, creepy dude gets a first class trip to the United States, George Bush gets a few weeks of freedom as no one covers Iraq war debacle in favor of Jon Benet.

I'm a masochist Giants fan, and can remember the pain of learning that the team was moving to St. Petersburg, Florida in 1992 (and we've all seen what a success baseball in Florida has been. When that deal fell through, everything came together for the team (and love him or hate hime, you can thank Peter MacGowan for that: a new, privately-financed ballpark, Barry Bonds and years of a team in contention. Now it's the A's turn to court offers from out of town. And though the team has been looking for a new ballpark for years, nothing has happened.

Getting public money for a stadium in Oakland seems like the longest of longshots. Oakland has a lot more pressing problems than building a ballpark, and not a lot of cash to work with.

There's been a lot of talk about Fremont becoming the new home of the A's. The city even bought property for the project. For those of you who have never been (and really, why would you?): FREMONT SUCKS. What would the team be called? The Fremont A's? The Silicon Valley A's? Also, there is no public transportation available, and Fremont has money problems of its own.

San Jose has been kicked around a lot lately as a possible new home for the A's. Owner Lew Wolff has ties to the area and is speaking this Wednesday at the San Jose Chamber of Commerce. One of the topics he will be addressing is the future of baseball in San Jose. The Giants though, claim territorial rights over San Jose, which would make things difficult, if not impossible, for an A's move to the sub-urban sprawl of that city.

That said, the possibility of the A's staying in Oakland seems remote at best, and Wolff is expected to make some sort of announcement by the end of the season. There is a residential and retail development project in the works for the Oakland waterfront, called Oak to 9th. This development plan is, of course, subject to opposition for a number of reasons, but it should at least be considered as a possible new site for an A's ballpark (pipedream). A park in this location would be less than one mile from the Lake Merrit Bart station, and right off the freeway. I don't really buy the argument that stadiums bolster local economies to a great degree (though I don't think they don't do anything either), but I do think they can add hope and a bit of civic pride (did I really just write that) to a city, which is something Oakland could really use. The A's have been one of the most successful teams in all of baseball over the past 35 years, to send them off to suburban-strip-mall-land would be a shame.

www.oaklandfans.com
newballpark.blogspot.com

Awhile back, we asked you to send us a photo of you at your hyphy-est. After digging through your entries, our winner is Big Sammy here. He walks away with E-40's My Ghetto Report Card CD, "Tell Me When To Go" video on DVD, an E-40 Beanie and an E-40 PeeChee-style folder

Hella Street - San Francisco
Originally uploaded by meshsf.

At the corner of Hella Street & Franklin

Guns N' Roses is gearing up for a West Coast tour in September. Remember their last tour? Of course, this Guns N' Roses is a man claiming to be Axl Rose (pictured) and a bunch of studio musicians. Seems like a mirror image the new Dead Kennedys. For those interested in catching this train wreck, Guns N' Roses will be performing at The Warfield on Wednesday, September 20th & Thursday, September 21st.

This is Solvej Schou:

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Solvej is a music and entertainment writer for the Associated Press. Solvej thinks K-Fed's performance on the Teen Choice Awards wasn't half bad. Why do the even bother to write about music in newspapers? Check out K-Fed at the Teen Choice Awards.

According to the New York Post, a new book by a woman claiming to have been Osama Bin Laden's sex slave, asserts that Bin Laden has the hots for Whiteny Houston and even considered putting a hit on Bobby Brown. I guess that's his perogative.

I had planned on getting some fruit or something this morning, but didn't really have time, so my juice fast is now at three and a half days. Still feel fine. Actually feel better than yesterday. I'm going to go eat something now though. Just needs to be done. I think I will go buy and steam some broccoli and watch the Giants game during my lunch break.

Only read this part if you are Armando Benitez: Armando, Armando, Armando. You suck me in, I start to believe that you can return to form, and then wham, you give up a game tying home run to the first batter in the bottom of the ninth. I want to love you... I really do, but you keep breaking my heart... and I keep crawling back for more. But this is it, I can't take it anymore. It's over between us. I've lost all hope.

The Giants managed to win in the 13th inning, despite Benitez' s blown save in the ninth. This game was especially excrutiating as most Giants games are. Even more so tonight, because I had to suffer through F.P Santangelo's (what's the F.P. stand for? According to my roommate: Fucking Poser) color commentary in which he referenced his baseball career 732 times during the course of the game (this in spite of the fact that he only played 665 games in his career). I suffered through three games of his comments on how HE would play the game, how HE used to do things, etc., etc. I'll have to tak some notes the next time he's announcing. It just makes me realize even more how amazing the other Giants announcers are. Jon Miller, Duane Kuiper, Miker Krukow (even if he's a bit goofy) and Dave Fleming are all excellent. Oh, and Greg Papa is pretty good as well. I don't understand why they have so many, or how the rotation works, but I would like to know how F.P. got a job with this bunch.

Juice Fast:
I still haven't eaten. Not much new to report. It's really amazing how normal I feel. Physically, I feel fine. Mentally, I'm a little loopy and a bit tired, but still, I have a bunch of energy. Tomorrow the eating commences. Probably nothing major, just fruit and probably broccoli.

A couple times today I got a little paranoid that this juice fast probably isn't a good idea. I was mostly worried that I might faint, though I didn't really feel like fainting. I definitely have this weird lightheadedness going on a bit, but I feel fine. I started getting hungry again toward the end of work today, but again, nothing too bad. Often times I feel even hungrier when I'm not fasting. I started craving mashed potatoes and gravy, but come on, mashed potatoes and gravy are the bomb (and you don't really have to chew them, so maybe that's why). I also started thinking about eating tomorrow, so this is probably it for the fast. I planned on doing it for three days, and that will be up tonight.

On the way home, I bought a bottle of R.W. Knudsen Family (they really need to send me some products for mentioning them again) Organic Very Veggie juice. I decided that it might be a good idea to get something without tons of sugar in it. This vegetable juice is really, really good. It's thick and a little spicy because it's got bell peppers in it. This ranks right up there with Pom Wonderful Pomegranate Cherry juice as highlight of the fast.

My stomach is starting to grumble now. Grossness may ensue... Anyway, the Giants have probably tricked me into watching the game tonight by winning two in a row. I'm such a sucker.

I'm now into Day 3 of my juice fast. I feel fine as I write this; not really hungry at all. Last night I started getting hungry. It would ebb and flow. I occasionally thought about food, but at this point, there's not much food I could seriously consider eating. I think if I tried to eat a hamburger right now, I wouldn't be feeling too great. Although we were flipping through the channels last night and the Food Network's Rachael Ray was at a barbeque joint in Austin, Texas eating ribs and sausage, which looked like the greatest thing in the history of the world. Yesterday my grand intake was a bottle of multiple-fruits juice, a half bottle of organic lemonade, a quarter bottle of apple juice and three small bowls of vegetable broth.

The Giants won another one-run game against the Padres last night. This time Armando Benitez came in and looked dominant. He struck out the last batter with a nasty splitter. If we (yes, we) can just win every game from now until October...

The Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival is coming up, and features THREE days of music from bluegrass, blues to roots and rock. Friday, October 6th's lineup features Elvis Costello. I will be taking the day off work. Other highlights include Billy Bragg, Gillian Welch, Emmylou Harris, Drive-By Truckers, North Mississipi Allstars and Steve Earle. Check out the full lineup here: hardlystrictlybluegrass.com.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty hungry, but after a shower I felt normal. Today I bought RW Knudsen Vitajuice, which contains 100% grape, pineapple, orange, apple and lemon juice and have drank a little less than half of it. My boss brought in pastries that look pretty good, but I don't have an overwhelming urge to eat any. I told the people I work with (I can't write "my colleagues" for some reason) that I am doing this juice fast and they all think I'm nuts.

In other news, the Giants actually won a game last night! Starter Brad Hennessy pitched well, as did four relievers who got the game to the bottom of the ninth with the Giants up 1-0 over the Padres. Felipe brought in Armando Benitez to blow a save close out the game, and as usual, the big man made things interesting, putting runners on first and second with one out. Brian Giles smacked the ball into leftfield, and thankfully grandpa Bonds wasn't out there, having just been replaced by Todd Linden who mad an amazing catch to save the game. Can leftfielders be credited with saves? Benitez' e.r.a. is a mind-boggling 2.59, though it seems like he gives up a couple runs everytime he pitches. I guess a lot of those are credited to the previous pitcher. I think what Benitez needs to get his ass in gear is a good shouting session from Susie Essman. (I have some photos to go with this, but Blogger's being a bitch.)

Update: I decided to bypass Blogger and upload these another way:

I decided, last night, to do a juice fast for a few days. This will consist of drinking only fruit juice and water for three days, while foregoing any solid foods. I'm not really doing this for any reason in particular... Apparently living in San Francisco for four years has turned me into a dirty, filthy hippie. I don't really buy all the supposed health benefits that I read about on various fasting sites on the Interweb: that it will clean out all the toxins in your body, that it will make you live longer, that it will cure cancer, but, who knows.

It kicked off this morning when I went to the store on the way to work and purchased a 32oz bottle of RW Knudsen Family organic apple juice (this is advised against by the hippie contigent on the Interweb, who believe you need to make your own juice from whole fruits, but I don't wear patchouli, so fuck it). I drank this throughout the day at work, and basically felt fine, never getting too hungry. I should preface this with the fact that I never eat breakfast and usually eat late lunches to begin with, and that I have this weird stomach ailment that makes feel like vomiting after I eat a lot of the times. There were occasional thoughts about food and a regular time in the bathroom. All was normal.

Work ended and I walked down to Valencia Whole Foods, about five blocks from my apartment. I bought a bottle of Pom pomegranate cherry 100% juice and two cartons of vegetable broth (okay, this is probably cheating too, but I saw it recommended on various sites). I live in the restaurant capital of the world and was fairly frightened that the smells from the restaurants would make me crave food. I decided to avoid walking close to taquerias (burritos are the greatest thing on the planet) and avoid looking at them directly. I made it home where I diluted some of the juice in water and drank it throughout the evening. Later, I made about a cup and a half of vegetable broth, which tasted good, and I think I tricked my body into thinking that it was eating something.

My stomach began grumbling, though I still didn't really feel hungry. It then let me know something: "Get your ass to the bathroom. NOW MOTHERFUCKER." (sounding like Samuel L. Jackson) It then did this sporadically throughout the evening. I'll spare you the details, but you really should know.

Now, I'm ready for bed and had a small amount of the pomegranate cherry left in the bottle, so I drank it. It was the greatest thing I ever tasted in my life. I don't know if it's really that good (I've never had it before), or if my tastebuds are just super sensitive right now.

I haven't experienced detox effects like a white tongue, bad breath or oily skin yet.

Well, day two starts tomorrow. I think that will be a whole different ballgame.

Do these photos of Castro feel a little bit like Weekend at Bernie's to anyone else?


Well, this one, I really don't know what to say:

MSNBC needs to institute a no singing, no dancing policy immediately for all of its hosts. First there was the always annoying Connie Chung singing a very not funny version of "Thanks For The Memories" back in June after the trainwreck that was "Weekends with Maury & Connie" was cancelled (see video below). Now it seems that Tucker Carlson has got the showbiz bug and will be appearing on "Dancing With The Stars." If this clip of him dancing on his show is any indication, he will be winning the competition hands-down.

With all the overkill about performing-enhancing drugs in sports, it's interesting to note that Jeff Allison, minor league pitcher in the Marlins organization, chose to go the other route, overdosing on heroin for the second time yesterday. The Marlins report that he has been released from the hospital.

Apparently some guys were going to blow up some planes. It seems like everytime something like this happens, in a few months I read on the 18th page of the newspaper that the plot wasn't as bad as the initial reports indicated. We'll see.
"A senior congressional source said it's believed the plotters planned to mix a "British version of Gatorade" with a gel-like substance to make an explosive that they would possibly trigger with an MP3 player or cell phone."

I need a prescription for this in a major way.

I went to Ikea for the first time in my life this past weekend. Wow. It really is a gigantic place with cheap furniture. I went because I needed a rug for my room, which I have learned are, like mattresses, insanely expensive. I saw online that Ikea had cheaper rugs, hence the journey to Emeryville--a bizarre, one-square mile, city consisting entirely of huge shopping centers of national and international retail stores, Pixar and Miss Kitty's bar. I expected to pay at least $130-$140 for a rug, yet I found one $25--Thank you sweatshops!--leaving me with enough money to buy a much needed bookcase (pictured). Now that I've already used the words gigantic and huge in this paragraph, I can only describe this bookcase as enormous I suppose. The dimensions for those of you keeping track at home:
Width: 41 3/8 "
Depth: 15 "
Height: 74 3/4 "
The thing looks like Shaquille O'Neal. Somehow I managed to squeeze it and a queen size bed for my girlfriend into a Scion XB and get it back to The City.

Included with the bookcase was a safety bracket, for mounting to the wall, which of course I just scoffed at on Monday night when I was putting it together. The scoffing ended last night when our building started shaking at 8:12PM last night, stopped, then started again. I move to the doorway in my room, which people used to say to do in an earthquake, but now I hear you're not supposed to do (who knows) to see my roommate running down the hallway with an unopened can of Budweiser in his hand. He ran into his room grabbed a jacket and started to head down the stairs.

"Did you feel that?" I asked.

"Yes. I've got my beer and my jacket," he said "I'm ready, but I wish we were gun owners."

Everyone not from San Francisco likes to talk about how gay it is, and sure we got some gay folk, but we got crackheads too! Lots of them. Nobody really seems to care and things only seem to get worse.
I live in the Inner Mission, where the sun is always shining, the sewers smell like rotting corpses, the air smells like urine, there is garbage strewn everywhere on the streets and the sidewalks are covered in blackened goo, which I can only surmise is from years of fecal application (more human and pigeon than doggy).
Now we've got our own reality show of sorts right around the corner from my apartment, 16th and Mission. There you can see what I see on a daily basis: crack smokers, hookers and their pimps and all sorts of the fun characters that make 16th & Mission Street "one of America's great intersections," as one commenter calls it. The guy that runs the blog heads out to 16th & Mission with his digital camera, captures all the excitement on video and uploads it to the Interweb for us all to enjoy. He was recently confronted while filming someone, so now hides the camera in a sugar box.

On my recent Southern road trip, I didn't get to make it to Kentucky, good thing though, or I would've missed out on The Creation Museum, a 50,000 sq. ft. museum dedicated to the "science" of creationism, which is set to open in 2007. I'm sure you'll agree that this "museum will be a wonderful alternative to the evolutionary natural history museums that are turning countless minds against the gospel of Christ and the authority of the Scripture." Natural history museums = Satanic Churches!