The All Time Lows

Despite what you may have been led to believe, the Iraq election may have been a total disaster. The election, billed by Mr Bush and Mr Blair as the birth of a new Iraqi state may in fact prove to be its funeral.

The Grinch that stole Christmas.

I heard that your birthday's coming up! Well, have a happy one! Also, if there's anything you can possibly do to help me out right now, I would truly appreciate it. See, I never go out on weeknights anymore, but somehow, accidentally, I did last night. I was headed over to a Fernet art opening last night... yeah, I know what you're thinking, "Fernet? Come on now Brian..." But really JC, I just wanted to go check out the art... anyway, I'm heading over there innocently enough, getting to the bus stop at Van Ness and Market. So there's this effing lunatic standing there doing karate motions and yelling shit out, but you know, whatever. So I stand next to the bust stop and this old lady comes and stand directly next to me, seriously, like touching me... so I move away. The bus arrives and there's this loud guy coming off the bus. He's homeless, one of his legs is in a cast and he's on crutches. He takes forever to get off the bus and there's a line of people waiting to get on. He finally gets off and starts blocking this old guy's path who's trying to get on the bus. The old guy tries to move around him and the homeless crutches guy keeps moving to block his path. I'm standing about six inches away from them, trying to get on the bus. Then, out of nowhere, homeless dude spits in the old guy's face. Old guy then grabs the homeless guy and throws him... dude had super human strength... and homeless guy goes flying through the air and slams his back against a garbage can and falls to the floor... anyway, I felt like a beer after that. Got one at the Hemlock, where I met up with my friend (worst enemy) Josh. also ran into Jillian, the 18-year-old frontwoman for Von Iva. Headed to the Fernet party, then somehow ended up going to the Redwood Room, Tosca and the Marina... yeah, I know, weird. Anyway Jesus, I feel like horsepoo right now, so, if you could like bring me some soup and a Gatorade I would be extremely grateful.

xoxo
b

Richard Pryor died today. You all need to go out and rent Richard Pryor Live in Concert. It's the funniest stand-up performance in the history of comedy.

Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz









and Sam the Eagle?

I have this rad medical condition, that I've mentioned before, where anytime I eat almost anything, I start gagging and almost vomit. This mysterious condition led to several doctors and doctors-lite concluding that I have acid reflux and prescribing pills like Prilosec, famotidine, etc., which stop your stomach from producing acid. Unfortnately, side effects include gnarly cramping and explosive diarrhea, so, yeah, decided to stop taking those.

Now I went to another doctor, a gastreoentrologist, who stook a camera on a tube down my throat and took some video and photos. She now says I have a food allergy, which she sounded stoked on and said that I will be all better once they figure out what it is. For now, I'm on a steroid inhaler called Flovent, which should come in handy in social situations where I don't want to talk to someone--ex... uhhh, exschoo... esxhoose... exchoose me, asthma. I'm also on another steroid inhaler for my hay fever type allergies called Nasarel, or Flonase or something. So, the point is, I'll be posting nasty pictures of my esophagus and stomach tomorrow, AND, I'll be playing right field for your 2006 San Francisco Giants next year!

To coincide with the US release of Lindsay Lohan’s latest album, A Little More Personal (RAW) (Casablanca Records), LindzMag.Net has today launched its bumper forth issue; featuring an exclusive 12-page review of the album, plus much more.

A gem from the review:
Originally a Cheap Trick song... Lindsay proclaims 'I want you to love me'; your wish is my command Lindz!... [This is] much preferable to the Cheap Trick Version.

The infallible, almighty Google seems to be suffering from problems right now. I, and apparently everyone else, is unable to login to gmail or adsense today. I don’t if their servers are down or what, but it’s really annoying.

No joke, YOU can save Iraq and make some change in the process! Apply today!