The All Time Lows

Comedian Mitch Hedberg was apparently found dead of an overdose in a hotel room. He was funny.

"One time a guy handed me a picture of himself and he said. "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. Here's a picture of me when I'm older. How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera."

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good a a wall. I played a wall once. They're relentless."

"I was walking by a drycleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said Sorry, we're closed. You don't have to be sorry. It's 3a.m. and your a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, hey I was here at 3a.m and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology."

Lollapalooza, following the lead of the Democratic Party, has decided to shoot itself in the foot again by making the same mistake it made last year: booking indie/alternative rock bands and jam bands to play the same show. After a disastrous Lollapalooza 2004, which was cancelled due to poor ticket sales (hmmm, what a shocker, booking Le Tigre and The String Cheese Incident on the same tour didn't work out). This year the festival will be a two-day event held in Chicago's Grant Park on July 23 and 24 with Beck, The Killers and dirty hippies Widespread Panic on the bill. The full line-up and more details will be announced on Friday.

Though I like to pretend that I'm a film snob sometimes, with my tastes leaning toward classic, independent and foreign films, I'm the biggest sucker in the world for sports movies like Hoosiers, The Natural, Major League, Rocky, Field of Dreams, The Bad News Bears, Eight Men Out, Pride of the Yankees, The Babe Ruth Story... It doesn't matter how corny the acting or script is, if it's a sports drama, I'm probably getting goosbumps at some point in the film. Now a Jackie Robinson movie is in the works, and I'll be the first one in line.

Biopic on Jackie Robinson in the Works

By DAVID GERMAIN, AP Movie
Writer
LOS ANGELES - The makers of the Ray Charles film "Ray" are taking on
another story about breaking racial barriers. Baldwin Entertainment Group is
producing a film biography of baseball pioneer Jackie Robinson, with an assist
from Robert Redford, whose Wildwood Enterprises will
co-produce.

Redford, who starred in the 1984 baseball flick
"The Natural," also will play Brooklyn Dodgers general manager Branch Rickey,
who signed Robinson as the first black player in Major League Baseball.

Today we bring you the first installment of Mesh Magazine's list of people who need to be punched* in the face.


Rolling Stone Editor Joe Levy.................. Simple Plan singer Pierre Bouvier

House Majority Leader Tom Delay..............Conservative pundit Bob Novak

*Mesh Magazine in no way endorses actually punching these people in the face, even though you probably ought to.

Sorry about the language, but I'd like to kill these motherfuckers. If I ever hear somebody's cellphone play one of the Jamster ringtones, that person's getting an immediate punch in the face.

Licorice nooses. Guillotine cupcakes.

English graffiti artist/culture jammer Banksy, who I first heard about from my main man Max Sidman hung pieces of his artwork, sans permission, in four New York museums: the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the American Museum of Natural History, MOMA and the Brooklyn Museum. The first photos appeared at the Wooster Collective Web site
, where you can see photos of the work. The piece hung at the Natural History Museum was a beetle equipped with jet wings and missiles enclosed in a glass case.

Here is part of an interview with Banksy from the Wooster Collective Web site

2. why did you choose the four you chose?
I went for the biggest four museums in New York, I wanted to do the
Guggenheim but there weren't enough paintings in it, I would have had to
appear between two Picasso's and I'm not good enough to get away with that.

6. how did you put up the works without being noticed by guards or
other visitors? was it easy?
As a graffiti artist its harder to paint subway trains in New York these
days than it is to paint your major public exhibition spaces.
You just have to glue on a fake beard and move with the times.

The following is an e-mail I sent to Tim Redmond, executive editor of the San Francisco Bay Guardian, after reading his letter from the editor in which he wrote of being a Nielsen Ratings conspiracy theorist:

Hi Tim,

I just finished reading your letter from the editor in today's Guardian about your Nielsen ratings cospiracy. When I was in college, my household was chosen to be a Nielsen family. We said no at first, but then the Nielsen lady kept offering us money, sending us plants and jams and promising free dinners and pizza. We were broke, so it sounded good to us. She came to our house and interviewed each of for about 45 minutes. A week later two men showed up at our house and took apart all of our TVs and TV related equipment (VCRs, video game systems). It was at this point we began to think the Nielsen people were really the FBI. We would joke that they put cameras and microphones in all the equipment and in a poinsettia she had given us.

They hooked up a box with blinking lights to our TVs. Every time we watched TV we were supposed to enter in our info on a remote. We were supposed to do this every time we changed the channel and every three or four minutes when the lights started blinking again. We were also supposed to enter our guests in, including age and sex. This was EXTREMELY annoying. About a week we couldn't handle it any more so we started making shit up. We'd enter that nineteen 7-year-olds were watching Temptation Island in our living room. We'd enter that fifteen 85-year-olds were watching Teletubbies. This went on for months.

What I learned from our Nielsen experience is that the ratings system is absolute bullshit.Fraud and fake entries have got to be rampant. And anyone who is willing to go through the unbelievably annoying process has got to be a complete moron.

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. (AP) - Barry Bonds might miss a significant portion of this season following his latest knee surgery.

"I have a lot of work to do to try to get back, maybe next season, maybe by midseason," he said Tuesday after meeting with San Francisco Giants trainer Stan Conte for 1½ hours.
The Giants continue to hope it will be much sooner that the seven-time NL MVP is back on the field.

Bonds said he was "mentally drained" from trying to rehabilitate his knee after repeated surgeries, and said he was uncertain when he'd be ready to play again.

The mainstream media is a joke in this country. Here's another punchline. President Bush signed a bill when he was governor of Texas that allows hospitals to decide when life-sustaining care could be removed. The law allows hospitals to use remove care if a patient's insurance doesn't cover the care, even against the wishes of the patient's family. Just last week 6-month-old boy Sam Hudson had his feeding tube removed. The only place you can hear about this is in blogs and in alternative papers.

From the Village Voice.
"In 1999, then Gov. Bush signed a law that 'allows hospitals [to] discontinue life-sustaining care, even if patient family members disagree.' Just days ago the law permitted Texas Children's Hospital to remove the breathing tube from a 6-month-old boy named Sun Hudson," according to a report by the Center for American Progress. "The law may soon be used to remove life support from Spiro Nikolouzos, a 68-year-old man. Bush has not commented on either case."

Bush says we must put a value on all life, and yet this is the same guy that mocked a woman he put to death:

"Bush's brand of forthright tough-guy populism can be appealing, and it has played well in Texas. Yet occasionally there are flashes of meanness visible beneath it.

While driving back from the speech later that day, Bush mentions Karla Faye Tucker, a double murderer who was executed in Texas last year. In the weeks before the execution, Bush says, Bianca Jagger and a number of other protesters came to Austin to demand clemency for Tucker. 'Did you meet with any of them?' I ask.

Bush whips around and stares at me. 'No, I didn't meet with any of them,' he snaps, as though I've just asked the dumbest, most offensive question ever posed. 'I didn't meet with Larry King either when he came down for it. I watched his interview with [Tucker], though. He asked her real difficult questions, like 'What would you say to Governor Bush?' 'What was her answer?' I wonder.


'Please,' Bush whimpers, his lips pursed in mock desperation, 'don't kill me.'
I must look shocked – ridiculing the pleas of a condemned prisoner who has since been executed seems odd and cruel, even for someone as militantly anticrime as Bush –because he immediately stops smirking.

From Yahoo!:

On the bus ride back from Tucson on Saturday, A's manager Ken Macha had the driver pull into a Dairy Queen, where he paid for the team's treats. ``We all went in uniform and people looked at us like maybe we were a softball team,'' Macha said. ``I went to the counter and said 'I'm the coach of this team, please total everything up and give me the bill.' It was a little over $50. When I was 8, cones were 10 cents, so for 13 players it was $1.30.'' OF Nick Swisher said he ordered ``the biggest Blizzard I could get, with chocolate chip cookie dough.''

(The title of this post is inspired by, and in honor of Daniel Taylor.)
Ian Brown, of the Stone Roses, got into a brouhaha at the Great American Music Hall the other night. Mesh writer Ian Rivamonte may have been the first to report on it (read his story here). Well, now there's a video of Ian's smurf ass jumping in as a bunch of people beat up a security guard for no reason. Watch him coil away when the guy gets in his face, then jump in after the guy's been brought down by a bunch of the Ian Brown crew. He even hits him with a microphone. Click here to watch.

See the playlist below...

Download last night's Mesh Mix from www.westaddradio.com or directly by clicking this image right here:




1. Band: Nicholas Abodeely / Song: Manuel of New Spain / “ Nicholas Abodeely” / Self-Released

2. Pleasure Forever / Czarina / “ Alter” / Sub Pop

3. TV on the Radio / Staring at the Sun / “ Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes” / Touch & Go

4. Aereogramme / No Really, Everything's Fine / “ Sleep & Release” / Matador Records

5. Mister Metaphor / The Gloaming / “ Die on the High Road E.P.” / Omnibus

6. Fugazi / Furniture / “ Furniture” / Dischord

7. The Black Keys / The Moan / “ The Moan” / Alive Records

8. Sleater Kinney / Rollercoaster / “ The Woods” / Sub Pop

9. Citizens Here and Abroad / Microphone / “ Ghosts of Tables & Chairs” / Omnibus

10. Old Canes / Blue Eleanor / “ Early Morning Hymns” / Second Nature Recordings

11. Third Harmonic Distortion / Psycho Killer / “ Third Harmonic Distortion” / Morphius

12. …And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead / Baudelaire / “ Source Tags and Codes” / Interscope

13. Z-Man / Come Gurp With Me / “ Dope or Dogfood?” / Refill Records

14. Engine Down / Overrated / “ Demure” / Lovitt Records

15. Broadway Project / Coming Back / “ The Vessel” / Memphis Industries

1. Band: Nicholas Abodeely / Song: Manuel of New Spain / “ Nicholas Abodeely” / Self-Released

2. Pleasure Forever / Czarina / “ Alter” / Sub Pop

3. TV on the Radio / Staring at the Sun / “ Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes” / Touch & Go

4. Aereogramme / No Really, Everything's Fine / “ Sleep & Release” / Matador Records

5. Mister Metaphor / The Gloaming / “ Die on the High Road E.P.” / Omnibus

6. Fugazi / Furniture / “ Furniture” / Dischord

7. The Black Keys / The Moan / “ The Moan” / Alive Records

8. Sleater Kinney / Rollercoaster / “ The Woods” / Sub Pop

9. Citizens Here and Abroad / Microphone / “ Ghosts of Tables & Chairs” / Omnibus

10. Old Canes / Blue Eleanor / “ Early Morning Hymns” / Second Nature Recordings

11. Third Harmonic Distortion / Psycho Killer / “ Third Harmonic Distortion” / Morphius

12. …And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead / Baudelaire / “ Source Tags and Codes” / Interscope

13. Z-Man / Come Gurp With Me / “ Dope or Dogfood?” / Refill Records

14. Engine Down / Overrated / “ Demure” / Lovitt Records

15. Broadway Project / Coming Back / “ The Vessel” / Memphis Industries

www.gizoogle.com

Party n Bacardi Kind of Rhyme:
To celebrate our fizzirst birfday, we’re hav'n a party n all of you should come. It’s a perpetratin' spectacizzles wit wanna be gangsta Madelia n The Mizzall, plus DJ Vin Sol . Boo-Yaa!. I want ta meet you, so come on out ta tha Rickshaw Stizzay on Saturday, Gangsta 20th. It runs F-R-to-tha-izzom 8:30PM – 2:00AM, is cheap n there wizzle be tons of hot chicks and/or dudes there, ballin' on yo preference. See our ad on tha back cracka. Then, ta hizzy tha hungry, n ta dance, Straight Trippin' n Mizzesh is host'n a Tizzy fo` Tots party at tha RX Gallery on Friday, Decemba 3rd fo shizzle. Bring in some non-perishable food n you git in fo` $3!!! Six DJs, visuals n holiday poser wit liquor n playa.

If you ever see one of these things up in the grass in a park DON'T try to jump over it.

Saw this on the Fecal Face Forums: You can buy your casket at Costco.

...Everything else is cool.

[I just wrote a long ass post that Blogger somehow deleted about some douche bag who said this in regards to companies reading their employees work e-mails "The intent is not Big Brother but behavior modification," says Bill Bunker, vice president of marketing for e-mail compliance firm MessageGate, whose customers include Boeing and Lockheed Martin. Obviously Bill hasn't read 1984, in which Big Brother enforces behavior modification through surveillance and newspeak (you know, terms like "behavior modification" and "e-mail compliance").]

It's 82 degrees in San Francisco, which, for those of who have not been here, never happens. Tonight's plan of action:

Zeitgeist (the best outdoor bar in San Francisco)
Two Ton Boa @ the Hemlock

Also, Club ID is tonight at the Rickshaw, head on down there.

First I find out about Dinosaur Jr., and now this! Two Ton Boa, which is the mysterious and supremely talented Sherry Fraser (who's voice is un-fucking-believable) and a multitude of guests, is back playing shows, and coming to San Francisco this Friday, March 11 at the Hemlock. Listen to "Comin' Up From Behind". Visit the band's Web site here: www.twotonboa.com.

Tour Dates:
March 2005
10 - Arcata, CA @ The Placebo
11 - San Francisco, CA @ Hemlock Tavern w/ Charming Hostess
12 - Sacramento, CA @ Capitol Garage w/ Charming Hostess
13 - Healdsburg, CA @ The Raven Theater w/ Charming Hostess
14 - Los Angeles, CA @ Knitting Factory w/ Charming Hostess + Starvations
15 - Tucson, AZ @ Solar Culture w/ Charming Hostess, Erase Errata, Starvations
17 - Austin, TX @ Beerland KRS SXSW showcase
18 - Austin, TX @ Shotclock Management party
25 - Olympia, WA @ The Clipper w/ The Arm
26 - Portland, OR @ Dante's
27 - Seattle, WA @ Sunset Tavern

Although I didn't know him, I have major respect for anyone who starts their own magazine and succeeds. Check out Mass Appeal.

Mag publisher electrocuted by third rail

BY OREN YANIVDAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

A promising young magazine entrepreneur was electrocuted early yesterday while walking across the G train subway tracks from one platform to another, police said. The body of Patrick Elasik, 26, of Far Rockaway, was found at 1:35 a.m., lying across the third rail at the Nassau Ave. station in Greenpoint. Elasik was the co-founder and co-owner of Mass Appeal Magazine, a bimonthly urban lifestyle publication based in Brooklyn. He was on his way home from a friend's birthday party when he entered the station from the wrong side, said his longtime business partner, Adrian Moeller. Because changing platforms required leaving and reentering the station, he apparently decided to simply cross to the other side - but touched the electrified rail and died.

I don't care if Barry Bonds did steroids.
I don't care if Martha Stewart got out of prison.
I don't care about Michael Jackson.

And by the way, if you get sick, lose your job and are unable to pay your bills, you are officially FUCKED.

Click this image to here last night's Mesh mix:




1. Band: The Soft Boys / Song: “I Wanna Destroy You” / Record: Underwater Moonlight / Label: Matador Records

2. The Mall / “Grand Canyon” / Unreleased / Self-Released

3. BBQ / “Year Old Wine” / Tie Your Noose / Bomp!

4. Point Line Plane / “Bugs” / Smoke Signals / Skin Graft

5. Living Science Foundation / “LSF Chemical Express” / Last Call for Nightfall / Second Nature Recordings

6. Iron & Wine / “Teeth in the Grass” / Our Endless Numbered Days / Sub Pop

7. Desperado / “Perversion for Profit” / Evacuation / Dead Letter Records

8. The North Magnetic / “Tonight We Ride” / Musashi Strategy EP / My Life As A Hand Gernade

9. Joy Division / “Warsaw” / Substance / Qwest

10. The Hard Ons / “Sunny” / Very Exciting! / Bomp!

11. The Girlfriend Experience / “Minus” / It Felt Like A Kiss / Peep Hole Records

12. The Hard Ons / “Olympic Diver” / Very Exciting! / Bomp!

13. Jello Biafra with the Melvins / “The Lighter Side of Global Terrorism” / Never Breathe What You Can't See / Alternative Tentacles

14. Mogwai / “Rock Action” / 2 Rights Make 1 Wrong / Matador

15. Dismemberment Plan / “Time Bomb” / Change / DeSoto Records

16. Mission of Burma / “Academy Fight Song” / Signals, Calls and Marches / Rykodisc

17. Ted Leo / “Tell Balgeary, Balgury Is Dead” / Hearts of Oak / Lookout Records

Quentin Tarantino director of movie flicks such as 'Reservoir Dogs' and 'Pulp Fiction' will now try his hand with horror film 'Friday the 13th,' as both Hollywood director and New Line Cinema are scheduled to meet this week. If everything works out according to the plan, it could be Tarantino’s first film outside Miramax Films as a director.

Tarantino is also considering writing as well as directing the next “Friday the 13 th,” which stars the hockey mask-wearing pyschopath Jason Voorhees, as the Oscar-winning director already has a story and opening montage worked out in his head.


His agent said Tarantino always dreamt of doing a Jason movie. New Line Cinema, which grossed $82 million at the US box office for its 2003 episode Freddy Vs Jason, is also anxious to get another sequel in production.

CBGB, New York's home of really shitty music and really famous t-shirts (and where I saw Drew Barrymore once) is facing closure because of unpaid rent.

From Reuters:
NEW YORK (Reuters) - New York's legendary rock club CBGB, which helped launch everybody from Blondie to the Ramones, faces closure if it does not resolve a dispute over unpaid rent with the homeless charity that owns the building.

Club owner Hilly Kristal said the dispute dated from 2001, when the landlord presented a $300,000 bill for unpaid rent.

Though most of that has now been repaid, the club was handed another bill earlier this year for $76,000 which CBGB has not paid. The club's lease comes to an end in August and talks on renewal are stalled.

"The real thing is they don't want me back," Kristal said, adding that there had been a series of disagreements over renovations and building certificates in recent years.

CBGB, which stands for "country, bluegrass and blues" even though it is most famous for punk music, rents its downtown space from the Bowery Residents' Committee -- a non-profit organization that runs a homeless shelter above the premises.

"I am not going to subsidize CBGB at the expense of homeless people," Muzzy Rosenblatt, executive director for the organization, was quoted as saying in The New York Times.

I headed to the normally stellar Pancho Villa (3071 16th Street @ Valencia 415.864.8840) today for lunch. I always get a burrito when I go there and they are always delicious. Last time I went there I noticed that they have tortas (a Mexican sandwich, and the greatest food ever created in the history of the world) on the menu, so today I ordered a chicken torta. First of all, it doesn't come with sour cream, which is pretty much the be-all, end-all component of a torta. The bread wasn't the regular torta bread that all the other taquerias have, but a sourdough roll. The salsa was barely noticeable, as was the cheese and the chicken was slightly burned, but that was the least of it's problems. This was actually the worst torta I've ever had. It wasn't disgusting, but was missing that torta oomph.



1 Roll out of 4

I am incredibly excited to announce that the newest contributor to the all-volunteer Mesh army is the phenomenally talented Porous Walker. Visit his Web sites here: www.porouswalker.com www.owltooth.com. You'll now be seeing bits of genius like this:

Darius Rucker, better known as Hootie (and the Blowfish), former guitar player for such legendary bands as the New York Dolls, the Sex Pistols and a stint as the touring guitarist for GG Allin, has sunk to a new low. Best known for his battle against heroin addiction, a string of lawsuits involving underage girls and a violent beef with the singer from the Gin Blossoms, Hootie is now crooning for Burger King, and specifically for the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch. All my heroes, slowly losing their luster.

Dax Pierson of Subtle is in a hospital in Omaha. According to a band update, he is able to talk now, but still suffering from paralysis.

All flowers cards and positive thoughts can be addressed to:

care of: Dax Pierson
intensive care unit
Creighton University Hospital
(402)449-4000
601 N.30th st.
OM NE 68131

As reported by Big Nurse, Dinosaur Jr. will be reuniting this summer. This is from J. Mascis' Web site:
It's true... Dinosaur Jr. will be performing in Japan at Fuji Rock 2005 in July. The band will consist of its original line-up: J Mascis, Lou Barlow and Murph. More dates and news will be announced shortly.

For the first time since the release of Smile, Brian Wilson is going on an extensive tour. Here are the dates. I would like to go. Buy me a ticket.

08-09 Boston, MA - Bank of America
08-10 Vienna, VA - The Filene Center/Woftrap
08-12 Holmdel, NJ - PNC
08-13 Wantagh, NY - Jones Beach
08-14 Saratoga, NY - SPAC
08-16 Philadelphia, PA - Mann Center
08-17 Wallingford, CT - Oakdale Theatre
08-18 Montreal, Canada - Place Des Arts
08-23 Milwaukee, WI - Pabst Theatre
08-24 St. Louis, MO - Orpheum Theatre
08-25 Kansas City, MO - Starlight Theatre
08-28 Seattle, WA - Paramount Theatre
08-29 Vancouver, Canada - Queen Elizabeth Theatre
08-31 Portland, OR - Schnitzer Concert Hall
09-01 Jacksonville, OR - Britt Pavilion
09-03 Berkeley, CA - Greek Theatre
09-04 Los Angeles, CA - Hollywood Bowl

I go to Yahoo! today and one of the headlines is: "Von Trier cuts film's donkey butchery scene." For those of you unfamiliar with the work of Lars Von Trier, he is the director of such samily films as Breaking the Waves, a story about a woman who's husband becomes incapacitated and urges her to have sex with another man and tell him the details, and last year's Dogville, a movie about Nicole Kidman getting raped around 30 times, which turns out is the first episode in a trilogy about America from the Danish filmmaker. The second film in the trilogy, Manderlay, is reportedly about slavery, though it also is reportedly set in the the 1930s. Seems Lars decided he needed to slaughter an actual donkey and film it for a scene in the movie, though after an onslaught of letters from animal rights activists, he agreed to cut it, releasing this statement, "My personal feeling is that I acted conscientiously, and I don't suppose we'll ever agree on that."

Update: Here's Daniel Taylor's take on it. (It is the official stance of Mesh Magazine that Daniel Taylor is an asshole.)

While in Vegas, one of the things that made losing all my money tolerable were the blackout curtains in our hotel room. Whoever invented blackout curtains should be given the congressional medal of honor. I think they were invented in World War II in Britain so that German bombers wouldn't see any light coming out of peoples' houses. Oh, to sleep till 3PM.

Listen every Tuesday from 8PM-9PM (at 93.7FM San Francisco or www.westaddradio.com) for more good shit like this:

1. Kinski – Song: “Semaphore”/Album: Airs Above Your Station/Label: Sub Pop
2. Tones on Tail – “Go!”/Everything!/Beggars Banquet
3. Tones on Tail – “Lions”/Everything!/Beggars Banquet
4. Blue Ribbon – “Icicle”/Another Time/Blue Bell Records
5. The Factory Incident – “Said and Won”/Redtape/Postfact Records
6. The New Trust – “This Invitation Has Meant the World To Me”/We Are Fast Moving Motherfuckers, We Are Women and Men of Action/Slowdance Records
7. Thug E. Fresh – “Stripper Party”/I Can’t Rap/Six Feet Deep
8. Run DMC – “Run’s House”/Tougher Than Leather/Arista
9. Gram Rabbit – “Dirty Horse”/Music to Start a Cult To/Stinky Records
10. Ned – “Small Flightless Birds”/Coloring Book/Self-Released
11. A-Frames – “Memoranda”/Black Forest/Sub Pop
12. Sleater Kinney – “You’re No Rock ‘n’ Roll Fun/All Hands on the Bad One/Kill Rock Stars
13. Take the Wall – “Forfeit Games”
14. PJ Harvey – “Big Exit”/Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea/Island

Oakland group Subtle crashed its van while on tour near Omaha, NE. Keyboardist Dax Pierson was seriously injured in the accident, with one of his vertabrae being broken. He is currently in the hospital in Omaha recovering. Doctors said that some paralysis is inevitable, but it is not known whether this will be permanent.

Of all the random search words people have used to find Mesh on the Internet, this one takes the cake: pictures of gay monks spanking their students. How did they ever find out about our special gay monk spanking issue?!