An Open Letter to a Jackass

I'm all for comments. I'm all for constructive criticism. But if you anonymously post shit to my blog like "F you, you spoiled brat" (an actual response to my recent El Bulli posts), it ain't going up. Sorry. You can attack my writing all you want, but attacking my character? I'm sorry, have we met? Didn't think so. I realize that putting yourself in the public eye opens you up to judgment, but judge the content, not the author, please. I also realize that I, myself, have passed judgment on other individuals when writing on this blog, but these are individuals I have met and have given me a personal reason to get my panties in a bunch. Oh, and by the way? If you don't like a blog or the person behind it, DON'T READ IT.

Now, normally, I let these things slide. I delete or ignore offensive e-mails and move on with my day. But I have a little more time and a lot more hormones right now as I await Diner #3's arrival so I got a real bee in my severely pregnant bonnet when I received the following e-mail this morning (as I have scruples, believe it or not, I will not post his e-mail address):

geez joy ...get a man and/or get a life.

he he

all that silly blogging must make a modern girl very very hungry and sad at the same time ....

----------------------------------------------------------------

Michael

Northern CA

h e t e r o - v e r y

My response is below. I'm posting it rather than sending it to him directly, as I feel the general public could benefit.

Michael,

Thank you so much for pointing that out! You are absolutely right. And to think, all my readers were complaining about how the frequency of my writing had dropped since I became pregnant and started co-writing a book -- I'm so glad you showed me the light and made me realize that all I do is sit around blogging all day. I have no idea how my book, which releases tomorrow, got written when I spend all my time writing silly posts!

I'll be sure to tell my husband, whom I mention in every post, that we need an additional man for our marriage, and as for my "life", well, at 39.5 weeks pregnant I guess I'll just have to fill up the two empty nights on my calendar this week so I can become one of the cool kids again.

I will be sure to get that life you are talking about. In the meantime, you keep pointing out to people how desperately they need one -- clearly, you are the expert.

xoxo
Joy

"To eat is a necessity. To eat intelligently is an art."
-- La Rochefoucauld