50, republican. charlize, stoner.

I never cared much for 50 Cent. Sure, I got down in the club to "In Da Club," and I think that his first release, Get Rich Or Die Tryin', is a pretty good gangsta rap record. But I never cared for him, the guy, Curtis Jackson. He is so completely over hyped, and he's been going through a really crazy phase lately in which he's been dissing people he doesn't need to be dissing, making shitty movies, shitty records, and talking all kinds of crazy shit to the media about whatever nonsense crossed his mind—the embodiment of ignorant self indulgence. Case in point: 50 said in a recent interview with GQ that he thinks that President George Bush is a "gangsta." "I wanna meet George Bush, just shake his hand and tell him how much of me I see in him," is apparently what the rapper told the men's magazine. Fiddy also said that if he could vote, which he can't because he's a convicted felon, he would have voted for George Bush in the last election. That's just dumb as fuck, and it's scary too, because it's not as much of a sociological juxtaposition as people might immediately think: Both 50 and W are extremely rich, both were put in power by established and powerful sponsors (the Bush Family and oil industry for Bush; Eminem and Dr. Dre for 50), and both rose to power on the waves of heavy, corporate-sponsored PR campaigns. So whatever, I'm just a poor slob who works for a living and rents an apartment, and those dudes got money and power and houses and cars and good drugs and top shelf booze and pussy for days, but that doesn't mean I can't call bullshit on their whole steeze, because that's exactly what it is. Now, if I could just get some bullshit like that for myself...

Charlize Theron is someone else I never really cared for. She's really stiff and cold looking...I mean, she's hot as fuck, don't get me wrong, but—and I may wrong here—she has always struck me as a cold ass bitch. Until I saw this series of photos of her puffin' purp out of an apple pipe...


It kind of humanizes her. In fact, she can come over to my house for bong hits anytime. I got graaapes.