A Wedding? Cry Me Three Rivers!

Wife, Alligator, Husband

Renee Zellweger-devotee (God Bless Dave Chapelle: "Who the hell is Renee Zell-Wedgah?") Isaac Berniker once inquired "Who is this Jack White joker?" I laughed at his bizarrely unhip question, gathered myself and replied that he was the singer of the White Stripes. Ike shrugged. So I dug out an old issue of SPIN and presented to him a picture. "What?!??!?" Ike exclaimed in disgust. "This guy's a goblin!" Despite Ike's insistance that White was pale and freakish and that he had no business dating Zellweger, I chose to back up the bluesman with "he's attractive with talent." Ike still believed it was horseshit.


How cute! They even share the same haircut...

Almost two years later, ol' Jack is still proving me right. If you haven't been on pitchforkmedia or any other news source in the last couple of days. Jack White has wed model Karen Elson. The official website reports:

"Karen Elson and Jack White were married yesterday on the confluence of three rivers - Rio Negro, the Salimones, and the Amazon - in the Amazon basin in the city of Manaus, Brazil. They were married by a traditional Shaman priest on a canoe at the exact point where the three rivers meet... Meg White was the maid of honor. The ceremony was immediately followed by a blessing by a priest at a Catholic Cathedral called Igreja Matric in the historical city of Manaus. This was the first marriage for both newlyweds."

Uh, I guess that one with Meg doesn't count. Shit that's kind of a diss to Meg.

The White Stripes 5th full length album Get Behind Me Satan will be released tomorrow, 6/7/05 and there is sure to be a review, making it two Stripes posts in a short amount of time. Ugh. I'm totally looking forward to more fanboy taunts.

The White Stripes: http://www.whitestripes.com