Mesh Magazine

Rod Beck, Giants closer throughout most of the ’90s, died Saturday at the age of 38. “Shooter” saved 199 games for the Giants from 1991 to 1997, including 48 in 1993, when he finished the year with a 2.16 ERA. He was also a true mustache inspiration, and sported a mullet for most of the ’90s. And, as the Chronicle’s Scott Ostler pointed out, in 2003, while trying to revive his career after elbow surgery, Beck played for a triple-A team in Des Moines, Iowa, and lived in an RV behind the stadium. After home games, he would invite players and fans back to the RV to party and would buy beer for everyone that showed up. R.I.P.

Dubious, aka Shady McGrady. El Presidente of the New York Mustache May Chapter. El Chingón numero uno.

Back from spring break spent in New York and Boston, there is much Mustache May news to report.

• This year, Los Machos have taken on a new moniker, Los Chingones. All of you brave enough to sport a ’stache this Mustache May are our brothers.
• I visited the offices of a major record label in New York, where I met many of the fine men taking part in this year’s festivities. Quotes from that visit:
• “It’s an honor to meet you.” -from a man who mistakingly believes that I invented Mustache May.
• “You’re the reason my May is ruined. I can’t even look at these guys.” -from the female boss of the office.
• Fund-a-Stache is well under way.
• There have been poems written:
• Smell my moustache / In the morning, I dip it in coffee and breakfast/ In the mid-day, I get some sandwich in there / In the eveningtime, it is dripping with beer suds and hot sauce / Always it is waving in the wind /Always it is flawless and nice /Always it is drawing you near to touch / Give us a kiss, baby - Dubious
• And songs written (to the tune of “That’s Amore”)
• If you want to be free/just like Don Mattingly/grow a mustache
  If you’re stuck in a rut/do like Kurt Vonnegut/grow a mustache
  If the mustache is large/then you know who’s in charge/Los Chingones
  Win a 50-yard dash/while I’m combing my ’stache/Los Chingones
  (just the first verse)

El Presidente, San Francisco Chapter, shaving the beard into a ’stache, April 30, 2007.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the greatest month of the year is almost upon us once again. It’s a month in which we celebrate and honor that most glorious of facial hair: the Mustache.

It’s Mustache May*

Throughout history, great men, both famous and common, have sported fine mustaches. From Confucius to Mark Twain to Theodore Roosevelt to Salvador Dali to Tom Selleck to Alex Trebeck, it was the mustache that they gave them the intelligence, and truly, the manliness to lead, to inspire and to create.

We invite you to join us at the Mustache May Myspace page, and, for those of you looking to use your ’stache for the greater good, we highly recommend you check out our good friends at Fund-A-Stache.

This year, Mustache May is dedicated to the memory and the works of the great Kurt Vonnegut. We encourage all of you to read one of his many fine books.
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Any of you that watched the Giants vs. Rockies game last night may have a noticed a more macho Barry Zito taking the mound. Having kicked off the season and his seven-year, $126 million contract by going 0-2 with an 8.18 ERA, the man needed a change. And what better way to gain focus and recapture the testosterone necessary to succeed than cultivating a handsome mustache?

MLB.com, SF Gate and the AP tragically ignored the key to his turnaround in their round-ups of the game, but it is obvious that the mustache played a large role in his six-inning performance, where he allowed no runs and just three-hits, “My last start, I tried to have a good game, and tried to be too fine. I wasn’t as aggressive as I wanted to be. This time, I tried to be aggressive in the zone.” An aggression that only a mustache could bring. Sadly, having scoured the Web, we have been unable to locate a proper photo of the new, mustachioed Zito. When one surfaces, we will present it to you.

Don’t shave the ’stache, Barry. ¡Viva Los Machos! ¡Viva Mustache May!